June 30, 2013 2

  1. They ran out of Jasmine Iced Green Tea at Refuge Cafe for the rest of the summer, it’s June 30th.

June 30, 2013 1

June 30, 2013

1) Today I struggled getting my jacket off in public. I was just standing there in front of a car stopped at the light. One arm was out of the jacket whilst the other struggled to escape. I also had not bothered to take my side bag off or my headphones, those were still in my ear, the little white iPhone buds. So I was standing there and let my bag drop to the dirty Allston, vomit covered, street. I had to slip my legs out of my bag and get my headphones untangled from the bag all with one arm still inside my jacket. This happened on Harvard and Comm. Ave.

This was written in 2013

May 2013: The story of what I thought I knew

I thought i knew what love was when I was 15 years old. I met a very nice Brazilian boy named Gabe. He hugged me in front of all my friends. I was in pure shock and then he moved back to Brazil. I have never had a real boyfriend and I had never felt the need to have one until this past July (2012). I felt so lonely and for some reason I thought I needed to fill a void. Don’t get me wrong I have plenty of good friends, enough love from my grandmother, Betty, and some love for myself, but this isn’t what I want or need. I met a boy the summer of 2011 (August), through my friend L, his name is Ian. I didn’t talk to him until he started following me on Twitter, he was tweeting to me and I was tweeting to him… About everything. i thought it was strange and I ignored it for the most part in order to lesson awkwardness. Let me also mention that my friend Laura, who introduced us, was in love with him and he had a girlfriend when we first started talking. Nothing sexual ever happened, he asked for my phone number, and we text all day… non-stop. It became romantic in the fall of 2012, and we eventually went on to sext. I felt very emotional and I felt as if I might have been getting attached. He was living in California, and I was in Massachusetts. He asked me if he could come visit, I said yes. Then I changed my mind, I SAID NO. I said no to this man who I thought I loved. I felt so emotionally attached to this man. I lied to him, I told him my Grandmother was coming over, she did, but she left quickly. Essentially, I changed the path of my life because I was scared, and depressed, and I WAS FAT. I was nervous that he was going to think I was ugly, and that he wouldn’t want to be near me because I was ugly, and gross. I still think that, every day. He didn’t talk to me for a month, and he was deployed to Japan for 2 years. We started talking again in January. I was happy to have been given a second chance. I wanted to make it clear I MADE A MISTAKE. We began face-timing, almost daily, we were talking EVERY NIGHT before bed. It became intimate again. He then went to the Philippines and we spent 6 hours face-timing and saying goodbye to each other. I realize, writing this, that he was playing me. He didn’t love me, I honestly didn’t love him. I was using him, I was using him to feel intimate while I fucked other guys.

When he came back from the Philippines, we didn’t talk as much. He was detached, he started talking to another girl, then another girl, then another. I was at home, and I was wrecked from the situation. He promised to buy me earring, a shirt, and he promised to write me a letter. We were young, we were children. It is over now, but it was fucking hell. But now I’m better, I’m cool, I’m more mature, and I’m happier.

****This was all written in 2013, about 2012-2013. I was in a bad place, I’m not there anymore.

All Electrical

She said bloody

her vagina was dripping with fluids

it all rushed over her, as if she had been there before

Bloodied, indifferent, changed

My mom used her hair to hide her face when I was growing up

When I turned 19 she shaved part of it off and went to the hospital

I cut my hair recently because I was scared it was hereditary


Very Broad Strokes

People have strokes every day

People’s heads can’t sit up, they tilt to the side

People say it’s medically safe to have children

She told the group that “people on drugs are disadvantaged”

I take offense to everything

I want to make you feel offended

I want to make you feel unsafe because of socializing

You should feel sedated after this

You should feel triggered by bliss and euphoria

How To Make Love To The Woman You Love Before Her Mastectomy — Thought Catalog

TheBestBra.OrgIt doesn’t matter what age a woman is when she hears the words “You’ve got breast cancer.” It doesn’t matter how she heard the news, or to some degree how “bad” her specific diagnosis is; the night before a woman’s surgery will arrive. And before the surgical scrub that you do to clean yourself off…

via How To Make Love To The Woman You Love Before Her Mastectomy — Thought Catalog


// The boyf and the girlf went to the ELECTRIC CITY, SCRANTON, PENNSYLVANIA, to live out their obsessive love of the THE OFFICE. They frolicked through U. of Scranton, and passed Penn Paper… They looked at the school Pam Beesly went to and Ryan Howard… And they fell in love with SCRANTON, PA. WHOO HOOA \\13012819_10209612296964627_3767096885893760119_n.jpg12985505_10209612296804623_1504923419372987019_n.jpg13001058_10209612297444639_6408893574877594185_n.jpg13010799_10209612297484640_5402943802813915094_n.jpg