I recently applied to graduate school, for the 4th time.
The first time I applied to grad school was my senior year of college when I thought I had it all figured out and last minute took a job as a VISTA at an art school.
The second time I applied to grad school I was 3 months into my VISTA year at MassArt (only seven months after graduating) and I deferred because I wasn’t sure it was right for me. And I wanted to go travel the world in a smelly van with the youth.
The third time I applied to grad school I was 8 months into my year with FEMA Corps. I was accepted into a dream school, and I turned it down because I’m crazy and I live in a dream land.
Now here I am – applications in – freakin’ out. Why? Because grad school is fucking scary. The work isn’t scary, but the fact that you have no where to go after is fucked up. I might be stuck after a master’s – I might be poor – I might be alone, and poor, and stuck in a ditch. Who knows. I did it though and I’m glad I did it because it the next step in my book (applying that is) and if I don’t go (which is okay) then I’ll be a super successful bachelor who is in love with herself. Whatever works right?